Off the wagon- On the wagon and Emotional Munching

Its been a while since I updated my blog. When I started this blog a few weeks ago, I was  in a good place in terms of my weight loss journey but could feel myself slipping. I have lost a total of 60 pounds overall, and every winter I go through this patch where all I want to do is spend my evenings/days/nights curled up on my couch , watching tv and ordering in. And that exactly what I was doing these past couple of weeks. 

It didnt help that being in an emotionally shitty place + gloomy rainy days all lead to me not giving a crap. Well, i had me 2-3 weeks of eating and being off the wagon but i am back! The good/different thing about this time is that i am back on the wagon waaayyy sooner than any other time in my life ie before I gained 50% of what I lost back.  I am not going to lie- it wasnt easy. 

Its been only 3 days back on track and I have craved pizza or wings or a sandwich each one of these days. but I'll fight it. I know this week is going to be from hell but hopefully I can plough through.

I have always been an emotional eater. happy?- let me celebrate! sad?- F this. I am eating! and so these past few weeks i have been giving a lot of thought to why i eat everytime i am in a bad OR a really really good place...and what I can do about it! One of the things I came up with was to download a hypnosis app on my phone. I listen to it every night before going to bed and its more of a meditation than anything else. And I am not sure if its just psychological or what but I think its helping!! 

I'm going to write again soon but for now- Back on track! back to gym! back on journey! and BACK TO GOALS!! 

No more hiding!

Yup ! Its there- the ass, the weight and all that jazz...and yet, it baffles me that I have spent most of my 27 years on this earth hiding it...as if not talking about it is going to make it go away! I have spent so much time hiding my weight and where I was in terms of "numbers" from my family and even from my closest friends for as long as I can remember. And even though I know my friendships with my closest and dearest friends are not about what I look like.... its still a big deal for me to get to a point where I am okay with having a blog and putting it up on the internet!! YAY me !

I think a big part of being able to get here- at this place of ' this is where I am with my weight and working on it so F.U' - is ...well, the fact that I am working on it :)  Its taking time and patience and frustrated days and saying no to things and people I love ...but- I am working on it !

I gave this a lot of thought and this blog isnt really about what I am doing to become skinny and run a marathon and put up a pic holding my huge ass jeans....
    Its more about me being accountable for what I put in my mouth- logging it- and looking at my patterns and hopefully learning from them and changing them !

  I am pretty sure hiding is what has gotten me to the place I am at and therefore because I do everything to the extreme- instead of telling my friends my weight...I am going to tell everyone my weekly weight/what I eat/ when I cry and how I feel about it ;)